on Love.

Broken homes are messed up.

As part of my work I am typing up case studies of the kids that Youth Alive supports. Their stories are in stacks of cream coloured files piled by the desk. They want to compile them into a database so they can access them better. They speak passionately about these kids in meetings that last all day long. I get to know their stories.

Today I read a file about a kid who’s mom decided that she didn’t want to take care of him anymore- so he got passed on to his dad, then his aunt, who pawned him to a cattle hearder, who he ran away from, joined the military barracks to run errands for the soldiers, ran away from that and ended up making his way to a foreign city to join a children’s home, and then eventually landing himself at Youth Alive. It sounded like a story from a movie- this could not be somebody’s life.

But then I thought of all the stories I have heard like this before. All the stories of unwanted children, parents who could not or would not take care of them, moving from house to house, place to place, unforgiving menial job to menial job. Displaced kids. Fatherless kids. Motherless kids. Kids without a home. I thought that the messed up, broken homes and sailing divorce rates I knew of were a western thing- that because of our hard-ass-urban-anonymity and wealth that we had forgotten how to love each other. But it’s a global thing. And its seriously injuring our kids.

Love begins in the home. If we want to love each other we have to love the ones that are close to us first- the ones that we can see all their faults and the messed up things about them- our familes. This is hard. This is why many people give up on love in the home, on marriages- it gets too difficult, too annoying and we don’t want to put up with it. “I can do better than this”, we think. But also, am I perfect? Am I righteous? Do I really ‘deserve’ better, if I was to judge myself by these same standards? I too, have sinned against my fellow man, the one I was to ‘do better for’, and so then I too, am not worthy to this ‘love’. But Love is patient, and love is kind. It is not selfish, it does not boast. Let’s not make love about ourselves- let’s not make it about what we ‘deserve’ and what we want; let’s make it about what we can give. For the sake of our children, and for the sake of our selves. Because without love, and love in the home, this world is falling apart. If we can break apart and divide our homes, our closest, most intimate relationships- then what is left for us? What is left for our kids? We must learn to love in grace, because we have all messed up on love. But the beauty and the mystery of love is this:

“That just at the right time, when we were still very powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

and-

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” – 1 John 4:10

I think we need God’s grace to love. Let us love by the One who taught us how to love, by loving us first.

Mathew.

“I am the way the truth and the life, none shall come to the father except through me”

This is a verse most cited in evangelical Christian thought. It is the verse that is usually used to sum up Christian ideology- when a newcomer is curious about the faith, or within a theological debate, or even to ‘prove’ other ‘religions’ wrong by it. It is the verse that was cited when I brought my Muslim friend to church on Sunday.- And I think that he was quite confounded, as there was no context given with it! It is the verse that is seen to be foundational to our faith. But I think that the way the Evangelical Church has framed it, has often caused it to be devoid of all its power.

When Jesus said this, he was not making a religious argument. He was not proving one God against another, he was not creating a religious divide. How could He? The truth had not been made known about Him yet- The world just heard His teachings, they did not yet know Him for who He is. Neither was it a statement of religious conditionality “you cannot be my disciple unless you repeat after me” No- like most things Jesus said, this was not a command, but a promise. It was not to condemn, but to love, restore, redeem. The object of Jesus’ teachings is always the same-to evoke in us a whole hearted faith, to make us love God and our neighbours with all our heart and soul.

I don’t think this verse was either meant to condemn the unbeliever. It is a promise that in Him we will find the Truth, in Him is Life, and life eternal, and when we get to heavens gates at the end of our days, when we stand before the judgement on that great day, that we will find him there, waiting patiently, as The Way to the Father. I think that we struggle in this life, too much. We struggle to please eachother, we struggle against our selves, we struggle to MAKE something of ourselves, to be better. We battle with sin- in our own hearts, and in the world. We wonder why we are not good enough, over and over and over.

Sometimes we try to find another way to God- to that serenity, that peace. But God is more that peace- He is a fiery love. He is forgiveness, He is grace. And the promise of Christ is this: that as He is the way, we needn’t beat through the bush and bristles to find another. That as He is the truth; we can trust Him and know that what He offers us is good. That as He is the life, that when we ‘drink from His cup’ we receive life eternal, life that is true and pure, life that makes us to truly live. We needn’t fight to make our own way to the Father- through Him we find Grace. Our struggle in this world to ‘be better’ will land us tangled even deeper in the ailments of this world- but the same One who spoke these words also said:

“Come to me, all you who are wary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

[in]justice

Also check out this link. Its my first published article!! :S :) And there are some awsome, awsome contributions:

http://issuu.com/vanderherberg/docs/injustice_102

you can discuss it here:

http://injusticepeterborough.blogspot.com/.

Today I...

Got to sit down with 5 amazing past benneficiaries of my awsome NGO- Youth Alive http://www.youthaliveghana.org/- and design an interactive peer mentorship program with them!

That means...
(1) these fantastic, successful older influences who used to be on the streets themselves will get to encourage and support young people on a weekly basis in their own cultural context for the comitted period of at least one year

(2) it will be a sustainable program that doesnt have a hint of outside forgien ideas

(3) these kids lives will be changed forever in a great way!

This makes me so unbelievably happy- because these kids need support thats not just comming from random white 'vollunteers' that come in for a couple months and then leave them! I don't even mind that i sat in the office waiting for the whole morning since 7:45 waiting for the meeting to start or that i was at the office all day until past dark yesterday teaching because I KNOW that at least my work will be lasting and benneficial and that is AWSOME! :)

Quick update

Time is starting to go fast here. Sorry I havent posted for so long- I am back in the North now doing my work placement at Youth Alive, an organization that sponsors street kids through school, university and appreticeships. I am mostly entering case files and doing extra school classes with the kids. It is good work, but at first I felt very wierd being in and out of their lives so fast. I will only be with them for 8 weeks. It also felt wierd being another young, white vollunteer in Tamale- the NGO capital of Ghana for 15 years and still in pretty much the same shape. People just go in and out of here all the time. But its good- it's really made me really analyse power dynamics and my purposes for being here.

I am living in a compound house with another student and some lovely Ghanaians. I usually work late as the kids just want to soak up everything you can give them. It is so wierd working with street kids who are so eager to learn and be good- I feel more comfortable with teenagers who hate the world, wont listen to a word you say and want to drop out of school. I can get that. This I don't get- young people who are desperate for the opportunity to get an education. Who will come after school on an empty stomache and listen to 3 hours more of teaching until the sun starts to set. I love working with the Junior high kids because they are at the age where they are trying to really figure out their place in the world. I love stimulating their thinking. I love giving them an opportunity to speak their minds and opinions.

God has really blessed me a lot in this place- and is opening a ton of doors for me. He is showing me the value of hard work, sacrifice, suffering and love and what it means to store up our treasures in heaven. I have been humbled and blessed and amazed.

I also went to visit my friend's village this weekend and got a Guinea fowl from the chief as a gift. So cool!!! :)

Links

Watch this video. And also check out the sweet art my friends landlord does on climate change in Ghana.

Video --> http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

Art --> http://www.attukweiart.com/sculptures.html

The 12 days of Christmas plus

I have been having some major writers block lately but I really want to post, so I've put together some random typed thoughts from the last few weeks that I typically got out on my laptop right before toppling into bed after long days.Basically i have been bouncing around between the Missionary of Charity house run by Mother Teresa's nuns near Tema, and trecking into the slums with an organization or to visit friends. I am tierd and a bit overwhelmed- its hard meeting and talking to people who work all day for peanuts and sleep in lorry stations with their babies! But overall I am doing well. I am taking a hike this weekend to a giant, beautiful waterfall in the volta region which will be a wonderful break. I also just braided my hair- something I thought I'd never do! It is hot and sticky and January.

I love you all :)

(Tuesday before Christmas)

It is 9:30pm and I am curled up on my bed with a warm mug of powdered milk with one sugar cube listening to the 4 Christmas Carols I have on my laptop on repeat all content and happy. I am super tiered because last night I procrastinated doing my readings on migration until about midnight because I was watching cheesy Ghanaian movies. Then I woke up at 6 and crammed myself in the back of a crowded sweaty vehicle with a guitar and a backpack full of Christmas crafts and spent the next- not 2, not 3, but yes, 4 hours in traffic on the way to Tema, the next town over (by about 35 clicks- also super industrial) so I could make crafts and sing songs with the kids at the Missionary of Charity (MoC) house I’ve been going to. A giant 16-wheeler had decided to insert itself horizontally across the freeway that morning putting traffic on a standstill; which could have been awesome to let me catch up on sleep had I not decided to load up my system with caffeine right before Ieft.

Sometimes I don’t always know what I am doing at MoC- but somehow I feel a lot of peace with this. I’m not doing anything spectacular like teaching or working at a hospital or saving anybodies life or saving the world- usually I just sit and talk with the women and play with the kids and hang out with the girls and wait for the nuns to tell me what to do. Sometimes we go out in the Afternoon, to the surrounding slum area to visit some families, or once we went into Accra to talk to the poor under bridges and visit the phyc. hospital (which was more like a prison).

But for all of that the best thing ever has been just the fact that I wake up way too early in the mornings and sit in uncomfortable transit for 5 hours a day just for the sole purpose of being with and loving on these people that I have been so blessed to come to know. Like for example- I get to sit at the bedside of this beautiful, beautiful old woman named Florence who has full body polio and the sweetest disposition and teach each other songs and laugh together; and play stella ella ola and soccer with a tennis ball with these kids who are just kids and love to play. All this infront of a Crucifix hanging on the wall that reads "I thirst"- Mother Teresas constant reminder of Jesus' love for this world.

(Wednesday)

Today we had a big Christmas party at MoC . I woke up at 5 again to trek out to Tema, which usually takes 2-3 hours, but by God’s provision (Nyame Adom): I got a lift from a guy that just happened to be going to Tema too at that early hour and cut my trip down to 20 minutes, so I was able to have breakfast and read and journal at an egg-and-bread stand in the middle of a Lorrie park at a giant industrial roundabout for an hour which was fantastic.

The party was so great- families and kids came from all the surrounding area for mass and a hilarious Christmas story play written and performed by the vocational girls. So funny. Then ‘Santa Clause’ came and gave out toys to the kids and the sisters distributed rice and spices and cooking oil to all the families in big plastic bins that are really useful for things like washing and storing food. Then the DJs that were hired switched from playing Christmas carols to Ghanaian high-life and hip-hop music which I was so shocked of because the nuns didn’t even blink an eye when words like ‘nigas’ and ‘dem girls’ came on and all the girls started shaking their booties- but I guess we were kinda shaking our booties to the Christmas Carols too so it was okay.

There was also a similar Christmas party that just happened at the Bridge- which is the youth center I was at in Peterborough- and I always have to keep it together when I think of those guys because I love them so much. So I am lifting up prayers for the kids here and there who I love a lot.

(Christmas Eve)

Today I went to Agblogbloshie again- I had a friend show me around and started to meet some people. My friend’s name is Festos- he’s from the Volta region but moved into Soddom and Gamorrah 6 months ago to get better computer training and make some money ‘in the city’

“how’s that going for you?” I asked
“haha...”
He has a buissness building and repairing sound systems, he is really good- even though conditions suck for him.

2 days ago, Sodom and Gomorrah got burnt really bad. People’s houses and everything they had were totally destroyed, only messy burnt stubs of cement to mark the foundations of where their houses had been. Luckily, only about 5 people died as most were in the market trying to make some cash selling or carrying things on their heads for a negotiated fee (its like a human shopping cart, its called Kayayei and it sucks). Because trying to get out of that crowded maze of shanty shacks while it was burning would be like trying to walk out of hell.

We walked through the ashes, the whole area that had burnt- it was huge. I honestly didn’t know what to think, an entire neighbourhood had just been levelled to nothing, and families were sitting on their old blocks in the schorching sun just starting to rebuild. I felt so powerless- all I could do was try to encourage the people I talked to and to listen to their stories. I didn’t even stay for that long because the sun was roasting me. Can you believe sitting in that roasting sun all day trying to build your house up again before dark so that your kid’s had a place to sleep?

I met a priest who had moved into the slums 7 years ago. He called Sodom and Gomorrah the city of God. I believe this is true. Because God is with the poor -even and especially though we arn’t. The people there have such resilience and such faith. Ive never seen anything like it in my life. I am always focusing so much to stop putting my trust in material things, because I believe that our trust should be only in Jesus because he saved us, and that we should store up our treasures in heaven. These people understand that like it’s their job- cuz it’s their life. It’s a hard life but it is still one that is blessed- that even in the Ashes there is the flame of Christ. I think this is beautiful and heartbreaking and horrific and wonderful. I have made a friend named Comfort there and I still visit her whenever I can.

(Christmas Day)

I went to a Catholic mass by the slums and then went to visit some of the people I had met in the burnt part yesterday with Festos. I couldn’t believe how much of it had been rebuilt in just that one day. I guess you work fast when your whole life kind of depends on it. By now the area is almost completely rebuilt, in cement blocks this time, for those who can afford it. The government has been talking forever about relocating the slum, and this would have been the perfect time, but it seems they didn’t have any plans ready- the place is more firm and standing now than ever, built on the same sinking, stinking, toxic waste as before. But people are managing. My friend works for this amazing organization (SISS) that does all kinds of training for people that live there for free. They say they believe in “slum re-generation” not relocation or neglect. - I have been helping them when I can and learning ALOT.

(New Years)

I was going to go to Church for New Years, but instead I got stuck downtown at a with no money, so I ended up at my friend’s hostel with a bottle of Champaign and third-world-quality fire works and doller store streamers instead. This was really sweet- but what made it even sweeter was that there was a church service going on in the hostel too! (Which was run by the Salvation Army)

I don’t really like big churches. It’s like having a crush on one of those really hot, popular guys in high-school- it’s hard to find one who legitimately loves you. I watched some American pastor on TV one time preach in front of this giant congregation, he was totally loving it. His message was okay, but I didn’t like the way he was going about it, it was too flashy, you know? I like humble churches. Churches where you actually know the people around you and don’t have that urban-anonymity feel. I loved the Church I went to on New Years because it was in this tiny, cramped block room with people sitting on plastic chairs and babies sleeping in the back. I loved that even though it was boiling hot people prayed with all their might and danced hard to usher in the new year.

(After New Years)

I got Malaria shortly after New Years and so I was out of comission for a bit; but once I recovered I got right back to work.

On top of helping out with SISS and MoC I have started working a little with Swift Aid- they try to get the girls that come do Kayayei (porters in the market) to go back home and go to school. A lot of these girls sleep in the Lorry station, market stalls, on the streets etc. If they get a room it can be as packed as 10 or 12 people for a single room! Some are there with young babies and some that are just babies themselves. Reports on Kayayei say that some of the girls are as young as 6 years old! Ive met some as young as 8. They come down from the North and work from dawn to sunset, are often payed just peanuts and are sometimes treated really poorly.

Ive been going around the market handing out fliers and talking to the girls- its hard because of language barriers and the fact you don't really feel like you're doing much in the face of such a complex thing (whenever people get invovled its complicated) but you do what you can.

I went with one of the guys I work with to the station last night to visit one of the girls I made friends with. Her name is Mary, she's 21 and has the most beautiful little baby named Fatau. They sleep in the station and when it rains they just stand under whatever shelter they can find all night until it stops or until morning. I brought bread and oranges and we talked and laughed and played with the baby a bit. Then we left.

Most of the time I don't really know what to do with things like this; except to love and give what I can. There are a lot of problems in this world- a lot of people are suffering. This is esspecially true in our own cities and towns, because our poor are less visible, and their suffering is much deeper then just skin deep. But I think that when it comes to 'development' or whatever you want to call it, one of two things has to happen: Either the government has to do something about it (and we all know how well that goes) Or the Church has to rise up and BE the body of Chirst- for the love of the poor. We have to do it- one by one by one. And I think that this is really true: that we can only do it by Him who strengthens us. Because we cannot save the world- can't even come close. But the lucky thing is that Jesus already did it. And if it's true that His life lives in us, then we have to, have to live it.