New Blog!

http://pearlinafield.tumblr.com/

Quote of the week:

"Hey man, do you ever go to church?"

"Yeah, sometimes I go to the young street mission in Toronto"

-Quote from a youth from the Bridge. Awesome.

From: UnderOath

"Hey ungrateful, I will teach you, to forgive one another..

Hey unloving I will love you..


..I will love you"

Home Visit.

I got back into Peterborough this morning at 8:23am. I have gotten in the habit of taking the morning bus back from my visits home. I make sure to get a double seat, and am passing out as we pull out of the Toronto station, and wake up again when we are pulling into the Peterborough station. It's glorious. :)

When I pulled into the bus station at Toronto, I was chatting with this security gaurd and his heavily tatoo'd friend for a while waiting for my mum to pick me up. I always try to just pray while I'm talking to people, because you never know what the Lord is going to bring your way.

"Tell me about your tatoos" I said to security-gaurds-friend. "you don't have to tell me about all of them actually, just tell me about the first one you ever got"

"Its a giant picture of Jesus on my back"

"Oh. Why do you have a picture of Jesus on your back?"

"I dunno. Cuz He's the man."

I went to the World Vision headquarters the next day. I always try to visit those guys when I get a chance to go home. You get a name tag when you go in. My friend picked me up we greeted the front desk lady. "How are you?" we said.

"Oh I am just rejoicing! Jesus found my glasses for me today!" She talked our ears off about it for 15 minutes. We were late for chapel.

People just make me smile a lot sometimes.

.Thunder and Lightning. .[Testimony].

I am sitting on the fourth floor of the library at Trent. I've been back in Canada for about 2 and a half months. Its sweet.

The thunder and lightening are striking. I am sitting in a glass panneled room overlooking the river. The rain is flooding my view to grey, and the sound of the storm shakes the sky.

I am taken back to the late November skys in Ghana last year, when God lit up the clouds with lightning for us every night. There was no rain, no sound, just a beautiful display of fire-work-lightning in the clouds. Every day. It was beautiful.

I have no idea what causes that kind if phenomenon, apparently its common to the season, but what I do know is that it was beautiful, and showed me just a little more another little piece of how freeking beautiful our Lord is, and how He truely makes all things beautiful in His time, in His world. Seasons come and seasons go, but the Word of the Lord remains forever.

I was thinking today as I rode my bike into campus how truely blessed I am, and how I am greatful for this day, every moment, every day.

Home.

Hi. I'm home. And guess what? I love it. I've loved every second of it so far and I feel like I have so much to look forward to! God has blessed me a lot. I feel like I've had such a growing experience and so much waiting for me here too. That is such an awesome gift.

Also- I will keep blogging here, so if you're interested in keeping up. I might change the format a bit, but I've got some lingering thoughts I'd love to write about when they get a little more solid in my mind and I get a little more settled.

If not- thank you for sharing this journey with me. It has been a good one- definately with its ups and downs and challenges, but God is good, all the time: and that is the coolest thing in the world.

Love, and God bless you.

Jenn

Christ our Strength...

I have cool friends. I’ve gotten some e-mails and post cards over the time I’ve been away, updating me on lives and good things and challenges. I think I have the most beautiful friends in the world though because almost EVERY time one of them writes me with a problem or a challenge they’ve been going through- from tough exams to getting their bag stolen to trouble with boys to having to leave the country in an unexpected situation (???)- the first thing that they write is always the same- that they first and foremost turned to Jesus, for strength. Each one will have a different scripture or encouraging phrase, and say boldly that no matter what happens to them- they know they are in God’s hands.

I think that this is cool because it isn’t natural. When something bad happens, the first thing that we tend to do is to get depressed or frustrated and angry- to take it out on someone or themselves or something. Isn’t that more normal? I mean we are all human right? But my friends- crazily enough- REJOICE. This is absolutely, and utterly, bizarre. But somehow, time and time again, it is the case.

Sometimes I get people ask me questions like “if God is so great- why do bad things happen to good people”. My response to this is bad things happen to everybody- we live in a messed up, broken world- and who determines who is who is ‘good’? The question is when bad things happen- what are YOU going to do about it?

paperrrr

I have been working on this paper non stop all week- I almost slept in the office last night, except that the lights went out, so I woke up at 5:30 to come back and have been sitting here ALL DAY pouring over reports and am now rocking 37 pages... I would be a good student except for my apparent extreme lack of ability to organize information effectively.

I ate leftover deep fried bean-dough out of a plastic bag for breakfast and am living off black, instant coffee, writing about the rights of street children... depressing or uplifting? Tomorrow I am taking a 10 hour bus ride to Burkina Faso and then going to Mali for TWO WEEKS of travel in the sahel.. When I get home I am going to sleep for 5 days straight :)

Mathew 13:44

The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Again- the Kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

I love...

 Riding motorcycles in the night
 Waking up early and reading my bible and journaling while drinking nescafe or tea in the taxi rank
 Fried yams with extra pepper and beans
 Chasing after water falls and mountains
 Making extravagant travel plans
 Climbing mango trees
 Walking long distances in the rain
 Eating Kenkey and dried fish with my hands
 Running sun-streaked and sandy on the beach
 Looking at the moon and marveling at forgien constellations
 Dreaming of coming home to you again.

I thank God that for all the beauty He has surrounded me with, He has put even more joy in my heart in knowing that soon I will be with you again. Sometimes I think my God is so beautiful that it makes my head spin a lot.

See you in a month! :)

"I am the moon with no light of my own,

but still you have made me to shine,

and as I glow in this cold dark night,

I know I can't be a light

unless I turn my face to you

You are the sun"

-Sarah Groves

1944

"Christian Theology can fit in science, art, morality and the sub-Christian relgions. The scientific point of view cannot fit in any of those things- even science itself. I believe in Chrisitanity as I believe that the sun has risen- not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

-C.S Lewis

Ha! Trust God to remind you that "Jesus answers prayer" through painted writing on a taxi window!!

Traveling!

Yesterday I painted a wall while teaching a kid how to read. We learned a song about vowels while paint was splattering ALL OVER my face and arms and new second hand jeans but I didn't really care even though all the other kids were looking at me like I was crazy. I told them I was going to Accra for 2 weeks but when I came back we were going to make a mural on that wall about human rights so they should pick one and figure out how they want to draw it.

Then I met my friend in the lorry park and we drank warm coke before I boarded a bus to Accra and drove ALL NIGHT and barely slept except for when I got in at 4:30 in the morning and had no idea where I was so passed out on a wooden bench until the sun came up in a firey red ball over the industrial park so I could get my barrings.

Today I am going to spend and AWESOME weekend on the beach by myself reading, catching up on journaling and going through the two packages that are waiting for me in the post office at circle, that I am probably going to have to beg for because I don't have the package slips. I am also going to church on the beach, which will be beautiful.

Then I am going to come and pick my mum up from the airport, and on Monday we are going to go on an extravagant vacation to the Volta region, Akosombo, Busuea Beach and Axim. Also I am turning 21 on tuesday, which will be sweet.

Update on my life so far. I have a month left of my placement before I start prepping to come home. See you soon!

Jenn x

Like a child.

I think that I am getting good at teaching.

When I started working with youth alive, I got thrown into the possition of after school teaching for a couple hours, every day. Innicially I thought "wow, this is great! I will be a great teacher. I am super good with youth and I know a lot of awsome stuff plus I am just awsome and they will love me."

How terribly wrong I was.

Picture this: A dusty room of about 30 kids between the ages of 8 and 20 and classes from grade 2 to 8, which doesn't actually mean anything because they are all at different levels of litteracy. There is a major language barrier. I have an awkward Canadian accent. There is a major cultural barrier. I don't know any of their references and they laugh at my annalogies that don't make sence. They can't understand me. I can't understand them. I am NOT the right person for his job!

I am okay with the youth but am stuck teaching the young kids too because the other intern is sick in bed with Malaria for a week right after leaving me and traveling and the only staff with teaching experience is as flighty as a spring leaf. I am terrible with kids. And these kids have nothing- no pencils, no notebooks, no nothing. They have backpacks made out of old cornmeal sacks which I think are cool and trendy but also know are because of poverty. I tried to supply some books and pens, but different ones keep comming, at different times, and I somehow end up trying to explain what a 'con-SEN-ant' is at the front of a scribbled on black board while trying to sharpen a cheap wooden pencil with a swiss army knife.

Bottom line: Disaster.

But I am getting better. The other intern recovered well and I am learning how to manage the classes better too. I am no longer so hopeless with children, I am learning how to distill things into small morsels to eventually paint a bigger picture. I am learning to be patient and gentle and kind- to break up fights calmly, without screaming and yelling and I am okay with making a fool of myself in front of a classroom whilst maintaining respect (if not, at least, shocked and quiet bewilderment). I am learning how to speak with authority on things that I don't fully have a handel on. I am learning how to guide instead of push, how to water seeds instead of forcing them to grow.

But most of all I am starting to observe little things about my classes. How they love to devour knowledge, even more so when you do cool things and arn't too boreing. Which ones are good at reading, are charismatic, are bright but quiet and need a little push. And that they love to learn computers. I start to see them wispering to eachother about last week when I showed them how to make an email adress- how they long to learn technology and sometimes get bored with my explainations of tenses and pronouns. It made me think of when I was a kid- in kindergarden on the reading mat, sitting eagerly, anticipating, in my gym shorts, which I wore to school every day because I was just desperately and longingly waiting for the teacher to declare that it was my turn to play on the indoor wooden playground. I was crushed the day she took it down- just like my kids were crushed the day I told them we could not do IT because I didn't have an extension cord for my laptop.

And then I thought to think how beautiful it was- this child-like-ness. Even though some of the youth I teach are approaching 20 and are in JSS, because they havent had exposure to computers and technology, how cool everything still is to them, how new and awe-some.

I think there is something in this: this child-like-faith. In the bible, when the children tried to come to Jesus, the diciples shooed them off inicially. But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

What would the world be like if we maintained this childlike faith? this awe; If we woke up each day to the newness of everything, to the way the sun light danced across the trees or the way the birds' laughing song was never the same; if when we saw the homeless, it wouldnt seem normal but horrifically new, we wouldnt see the poor as a blind mass but as individuals- to love and them well and know their names. Life wouldn't be normal, and bland- it wolud be fresh and new eachday because with each new breath God reveals to us a little more of His kingdom come to this earth, in the joy of our relationships, in the hope of healing and in the excitment in knowing that nothing is just normal, because with Him, all things are possible- even the sun and the moon could change places in the sky and we could dance on the ocean waves.

I want to be like a child- like a little kid just gasping in awe and delight at the newness of everything. Because His mercies are new to us every day. Every, every day.

on Love.

Broken homes are messed up.

As part of my work I am typing up case studies of the kids that Youth Alive supports. Their stories are in stacks of cream coloured files piled by the desk. They want to compile them into a database so they can access them better. They speak passionately about these kids in meetings that last all day long. I get to know their stories.

Today I read a file about a kid who’s mom decided that she didn’t want to take care of him anymore- so he got passed on to his dad, then his aunt, who pawned him to a cattle hearder, who he ran away from, joined the military barracks to run errands for the soldiers, ran away from that and ended up making his way to a foreign city to join a children’s home, and then eventually landing himself at Youth Alive. It sounded like a story from a movie- this could not be somebody’s life.

But then I thought of all the stories I have heard like this before. All the stories of unwanted children, parents who could not or would not take care of them, moving from house to house, place to place, unforgiving menial job to menial job. Displaced kids. Fatherless kids. Motherless kids. Kids without a home. I thought that the messed up, broken homes and sailing divorce rates I knew of were a western thing- that because of our hard-ass-urban-anonymity and wealth that we had forgotten how to love each other. But it’s a global thing. And its seriously injuring our kids.

Love begins in the home. If we want to love each other we have to love the ones that are close to us first- the ones that we can see all their faults and the messed up things about them- our familes. This is hard. This is why many people give up on love in the home, on marriages- it gets too difficult, too annoying and we don’t want to put up with it. “I can do better than this”, we think. But also, am I perfect? Am I righteous? Do I really ‘deserve’ better, if I was to judge myself by these same standards? I too, have sinned against my fellow man, the one I was to ‘do better for’, and so then I too, am not worthy to this ‘love’. But Love is patient, and love is kind. It is not selfish, it does not boast. Let’s not make love about ourselves- let’s not make it about what we ‘deserve’ and what we want; let’s make it about what we can give. For the sake of our children, and for the sake of our selves. Because without love, and love in the home, this world is falling apart. If we can break apart and divide our homes, our closest, most intimate relationships- then what is left for us? What is left for our kids? We must learn to love in grace, because we have all messed up on love. But the beauty and the mystery of love is this:

“That just at the right time, when we were still very powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

and-

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” – 1 John 4:10

I think we need God’s grace to love. Let us love by the One who taught us how to love, by loving us first.

Mathew.

“I am the way the truth and the life, none shall come to the father except through me”

This is a verse most cited in evangelical Christian thought. It is the verse that is usually used to sum up Christian ideology- when a newcomer is curious about the faith, or within a theological debate, or even to ‘prove’ other ‘religions’ wrong by it. It is the verse that was cited when I brought my Muslim friend to church on Sunday.- And I think that he was quite confounded, as there was no context given with it! It is the verse that is seen to be foundational to our faith. But I think that the way the Evangelical Church has framed it, has often caused it to be devoid of all its power.

When Jesus said this, he was not making a religious argument. He was not proving one God against another, he was not creating a religious divide. How could He? The truth had not been made known about Him yet- The world just heard His teachings, they did not yet know Him for who He is. Neither was it a statement of religious conditionality “you cannot be my disciple unless you repeat after me” No- like most things Jesus said, this was not a command, but a promise. It was not to condemn, but to love, restore, redeem. The object of Jesus’ teachings is always the same-to evoke in us a whole hearted faith, to make us love God and our neighbours with all our heart and soul.

I don’t think this verse was either meant to condemn the unbeliever. It is a promise that in Him we will find the Truth, in Him is Life, and life eternal, and when we get to heavens gates at the end of our days, when we stand before the judgement on that great day, that we will find him there, waiting patiently, as The Way to the Father. I think that we struggle in this life, too much. We struggle to please eachother, we struggle against our selves, we struggle to MAKE something of ourselves, to be better. We battle with sin- in our own hearts, and in the world. We wonder why we are not good enough, over and over and over.

Sometimes we try to find another way to God- to that serenity, that peace. But God is more that peace- He is a fiery love. He is forgiveness, He is grace. And the promise of Christ is this: that as He is the way, we needn’t beat through the bush and bristles to find another. That as He is the truth; we can trust Him and know that what He offers us is good. That as He is the life, that when we ‘drink from His cup’ we receive life eternal, life that is true and pure, life that makes us to truly live. We needn’t fight to make our own way to the Father- through Him we find Grace. Our struggle in this world to ‘be better’ will land us tangled even deeper in the ailments of this world- but the same One who spoke these words also said:

“Come to me, all you who are wary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

[in]justice

Also check out this link. Its my first published article!! :S :) And there are some awsome, awsome contributions:

http://issuu.com/vanderherberg/docs/injustice_102

you can discuss it here:

http://injusticepeterborough.blogspot.com/.

Today I...

Got to sit down with 5 amazing past benneficiaries of my awsome NGO- Youth Alive http://www.youthaliveghana.org/- and design an interactive peer mentorship program with them!

That means...
(1) these fantastic, successful older influences who used to be on the streets themselves will get to encourage and support young people on a weekly basis in their own cultural context for the comitted period of at least one year

(2) it will be a sustainable program that doesnt have a hint of outside forgien ideas

(3) these kids lives will be changed forever in a great way!

This makes me so unbelievably happy- because these kids need support thats not just comming from random white 'vollunteers' that come in for a couple months and then leave them! I don't even mind that i sat in the office waiting for the whole morning since 7:45 waiting for the meeting to start or that i was at the office all day until past dark yesterday teaching because I KNOW that at least my work will be lasting and benneficial and that is AWSOME! :)

Quick update

Time is starting to go fast here. Sorry I havent posted for so long- I am back in the North now doing my work placement at Youth Alive, an organization that sponsors street kids through school, university and appreticeships. I am mostly entering case files and doing extra school classes with the kids. It is good work, but at first I felt very wierd being in and out of their lives so fast. I will only be with them for 8 weeks. It also felt wierd being another young, white vollunteer in Tamale- the NGO capital of Ghana for 15 years and still in pretty much the same shape. People just go in and out of here all the time. But its good- it's really made me really analyse power dynamics and my purposes for being here.

I am living in a compound house with another student and some lovely Ghanaians. I usually work late as the kids just want to soak up everything you can give them. It is so wierd working with street kids who are so eager to learn and be good- I feel more comfortable with teenagers who hate the world, wont listen to a word you say and want to drop out of school. I can get that. This I don't get- young people who are desperate for the opportunity to get an education. Who will come after school on an empty stomache and listen to 3 hours more of teaching until the sun starts to set. I love working with the Junior high kids because they are at the age where they are trying to really figure out their place in the world. I love stimulating their thinking. I love giving them an opportunity to speak their minds and opinions.

God has really blessed me a lot in this place- and is opening a ton of doors for me. He is showing me the value of hard work, sacrifice, suffering and love and what it means to store up our treasures in heaven. I have been humbled and blessed and amazed.

I also went to visit my friend's village this weekend and got a Guinea fowl from the chief as a gift. So cool!!! :)