Christmas in Accra

It started earlier in this semester.

I was going through a lot of emotions being all the way over here- I was excited and overwhelmed. Accra is a crazy city. I don't usually like cities that much. I don't like the cars and the noise and the traffic and I don't like how impersonal everything is. I don't like feeling like the whole worlds just a giant quest for money and buissness and getting where you want or what you want, and I don't like feeling that everybody wants something from me. I get all guarded and focused on myself and often don't want much to do with anybody.

I was sad at everything that I left at home and It was hard to jump into school so suddenly. I was living in a suburb and all I felt kind of numb sometimes. I didnt know anyone- I didnt really know what I was doing there a lot of the times and I was seeking God so desperately, flailing around that place, but felt like I was hitting a brick wall all the time.

I looked for God everywhere- I went to the edge of the river and the sea and sat on a sand dune and looked for Him there. I ran through the ocean in the giant crashing waves and sought Him there. I climbed up a mountain to look for God there.I even went to the heart of the country and the middle of the city and I couldn't hear Him, couldn't see Him.

But sometimes Hes just waiting for us. Sometimes he just speaks in the tiniest whisper on the tiniest wind and waits for us to just listen to him.

I woke up one morning really early. It was quiet, and the sun was just kissing the horizon. I had only one thought in my head, that I needed to find some nuns in the city. I know, strange eh?! I didn't want to really, I was nervous and it seemed so random. I don't think I had ever met a nun in my life and Im not a Catholic, so why would I go out of my way to find one? But the thought wouldnt leave me so I said 'okay God, if this is from you, please give me a push'. I went to the internet and found the Missionaries of Charity- a group of nuns started by Mother Teresa that worked in the slums of Agblogbloshie. I thought this was really cool- but I still didnt want to call them. I prayed again and the next day I opened the newspaper at 7am over a large cup of nescafe and the first thing I saw was an artical about Mother Teresa. of course. 'okay, You win' I said; and called them the next day.

A tiny small voice picked up on the other end of the phone. I had no idea what to say- I already felt awkward enough, sitting on stump calling some nuns with chickens picking at garbage around me on the red dirty streets. I stumbled over my words trying to explain why I was calling (to which i didnt really have much of an idea). She listened to me calmly and then said "come and see". So I did, and I was humbled by what I saw there. For me it was an answer to prayer.

On monday I am getting on a bus from Tamale to Accra. This bus will take 14 hours and it will leave very, very early. The next day I will start working with the nuns in the slums and I can not wait. I have no idea what to expect still- but I am excited to learn. Im excited to try to not be jadded and I am excited I can learn to love the poor at Christmas, because I think that Jesus is in the poor, and this is a beautiful thing. Jesus said that whatever we did to the least of these, we did to him. This is such a blessing, to see the love of God in our poor.

I always walk by Jesus. I think that maybe if we didn't always walk by Jesus then this world could really change. If we really believed and lived that what we did for the poor we did for Him- it would negate all our obligations of 'charity', or good intentions with bad results, or feeling guilty or overwhelmed or blaming everything on government policy. It would just be the love of God on earth and that would be beautiful. Its something that Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven. This is comming to us, I believe.

I don't want to be idealistic or pretend that Ive achieved all this or even gotten close- a lot of times I can be absoloutely selfish, a lot of times I don't want to give anything at all.

But my prayer for us this Christmas, for you and for me is that we could remember the love of the poor. That we could remember to give and not just give out of our abundance but to give until it hurts, that we would give everything we have and more and that we could do it joyfully. I want us to be alble to give like this because when we give this way then we stop just trusting in the things we have, our riches and securities and we recognize that maybe everything we have maybe really does come from God, this world and everything in it. And this can bring us to our knees. And we can understand about love, so much more, when we're not so concerned about ourselves- which is a beautiful thing.

So for the love of the poor, and for my heart and for yours, this is my prayer.